In the spirit of Easter, and as a nod to the painted egg bellies of yesteryear, I now present to you the Egg Belly of 2K13. Behold her roundness and her extreme close-up-ness. Ask yourself, as I did, why anyone would post this particular image on Facebook when a much cuter one could have been taken instead? For instance, why didn’t this woman hand-weave an oversized Easter basket and perch herself inside it on a bed of pastel straw, possibly while wearing super deluxe chicken feet?
When are pregnant women finally gonna step up their game on Easter?? Is that really so much to ask? Or, apropos of this update, is it really so much to Ax?
How many people do we think Kathleen has already invited to be “friends” with baby Axtell on Facebook? I’m gonna go with “everyone she knows.” And now I can’t stop singing “My belly as an Easter egg” to the tune of John Mayer’s “Your Body Is a Wonderland,” which has got to be the worst Easter gift that a Jewish girl from Atlanta could ever receive (aside from eternal damnation). Thanks a lot, Kathleen.
As is the usual around these parts on holidays, I’ll be posting some EGGcellent updates on the blog today, so stay tuned! One submission whose email subject reads “Vomit-inducing Easter” inspired me to ask, “Is he eating a raw egg?!” So, you should eat all of your Peeps now, ‘cause later you might feel like barfing. Also, head over to Mommyish for my slightly less-cringe-worthy column, ‘5 Types Of Easter Updates On Facebook.’ It’s like an appetizer to today’s main course!
Related: Madison’s Easter Loot
(submitted by Anonymous)