It’s time for another weekly installment of the best and worst links from around the web! But first, let’s study the above Pregnant Paper Dolls (+ Bonus Baby, the kind of bonus every Pregnant Paper Doll wants!). This image was sent in by a perplexed reader who was out shopping and paused to reflect on this uniquely insane crafting opportunity.
Which Pregnant Paper Doll would you be? The sassy first trimester doll, the somewhat unamused second trimester doll who’s struggling to fit into her jeans, the utterly miserable third trimester doll having a shotgun wedding, or the post-baby mom in yoga pants with her stomach hanging out and looking like she hasn’t slept in a week? They’re all SO fun! I want to collect them all. :)
Being a woman totally rocks sometimes, you guys. I think that’s what this special doll collection is all about. I bet the manufacturer imagined Sheryl Sandberg, Anne-Marie Slaughter, Marissa Mayer, and some Retro Wives all playing together with these delightful dolls over cucumber sandwiches. She may be the Pregnant Paper Doll who doesn’t “have it all,” but by golly was she cute before she got knocked up, amirite? Love that halter dress.
Now on to the links!
- An article about beer halls in Williamsburg that impose baby curfews inspired this wonderful line: “Brett, part of a 90-member Brooklyn mothers group with only Williamsburg moms who gave birth this fall, said all the “hipsters” who had kids in the area needed somewhere to go.” Naturally, that place is a bar. [DNA Info]
- “There’s no words to describe it. It’s the biggest nightmare of my life.” These words were uttered by a delusional motherwho called the police on a suspicious man who turned out to be a cleaning person. Paranoia will destroy ya. [KHOU]
- A blogger asked the very reasonable question“Can We Bring The Holidays Down a Notch?”, and everyone on the internet was like, “Um, YES!” (Unfortunately this will never actually happen.) [Huffington Post]
- A paring knife was found inside a toddler’s Walmart birthday cake, and according to the story, the dad said, in succession: 1. My kid will never get that birthday back. 2. I might sue Walmart. 3. Eh, fuck it, who am I kidding? I’ll never stop shopping at Walmart. And then everyone ignored the story and went about business as usual. America! [CBS 6 WTVR]
- Speaking of America, “a California mom plans to suea maker of instant noodle soup after she claims her son was severely burned after the soup spilled in his lap.” She was quoted as saying, “The average person does not know how bad those noodles can burn a child.” Not sure if that was based on scientific research, but I’m guessing it wasn’t. [WPRI]
- A new study about personality traits and predictive “Likes” on Facebook says that people who “Like” ‘I Love Being A Mom’ have a low IQ. [Insert Joke Here.] [The Guardian]
- Organic baby food is expensive but not more nutritious. Is this surprising? I thought the decision always had to do with pesticides, but maybe I’m just dumb. [The Washington Post]
- This dad “hasn’t had it all either.” But the bigger question is, are there any paper dolls dedicated to his struggles?? I THINK NOT. [NYT]
- Liz Gumbinner aka Mom 101 wrote an awesome post on “having it all” and the way the media spins stories to benefit traffic and ratings. Go, Liz! [Mom 101]
- “Your delivery room is going to resemble the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers’ “A Night at the Opera” if you don’t entirely rethink this.” Emily Yoffe with the zingers! [Dear Prudence / Slate]
- An Australian woman has a slew of kids who all have wacky names. Is this journalism? [Newcastle Herald]
- “The Nickells likely meant to call out their kid for being “selfish,” “self-centered,” or “entitled” (“self-entitled isn’t a word)” <— Oh SNAP. Yahoo! got saucy in this article about kid-shaming. [Yahoo! Shine]
- Finally, we have some pictures of Perez Hilton in the bathtub with his baby. In case you didn’t know (or care!), he recently became a father. My day was going just fine until these came across my radar. [BuzzFeed]
And that’s it for this week! On a personal note, please excuse my weird posting schedule right now. I’ve been dealing with an unfortunate family matter, and y’all know the old expression that family comes before placentas and sanctimommies. Now I understand what that means! To make myself feel better, I’m posting this giraffe emoticon.
PS: The Swiss fashion magazine Annabelle ran a profile of me this month that I can’t really understand since it’s in German, but I do know the headline is the most amazing thing ever. It says, “The New York blogger has nothing against Mommies. Just against the crazy shit they post online.” Thanks, Annabelle!