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Christmas 2012 - Spoiled Edition
Well, here it is - the final submission in this year’s holiday post extravaganza. It’s no Baby Raiden, but it’s still pretty damnclose. There’s that distinctive “Where’s Waldo?” quality, not to mention the photo caption “The aftermath” which reads like the title of a horror movie about extreme consumerism. Of course, no one in the comments thread actually uses the word “spoiled.” They use words like “excessive” and “loot,” which are just other ways of saying “way, way,way too many goddamn toys.” It’s the toy comment equivalent of saying, “What are you feeding her anyway?!” to the owner of an obese cat. Sometimes, more is just more.
If strangers on the internet describe your child’s Christmas “aftermath” as looking like “a toy store,” you’ve got a few problems. But if your response to such phrasings is, “I just love the look in their eyes when they walk down the stairs and see the mountain of presents,” well, then you’re pretty much fucked. And not that it’s really relevant, but all of the people in this submission have Facebook names like “[My child’s] Closet,” meaning they sell a variety of handmade, used, and “vintage” apparel for children. That’s all well and good, but maybe some people should take a step back from any “virtual closets,” as well as any physical entrances to retail stores, if they can’t handle knowing when “enough” becomes “What the hell were you thinking?!”. What is this, a TLC show about parents who can’t stop buying presents for their kids? “Tune in next week for A Very Merry Hoarders Christmas Special - The Aftermath.”
Happy holidays, everyone! Thanks for reading along this week. I’ll be posting NewYear’sEve submissions as well as the End-Of-YearListicle (which goes up on Monday, along with my Mommyish column), so come on by!
Related: Pillow Pet Drama
(submitted by Anonymous)