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Fright Fest 2012 - Feet Tattoo Edition
I’d like to preface this by saying that I know in my heart of hearts we’ll never get to see another one of these again. It just won’t happen, you guys. There are only so many parents in this world who are willing to destroy their bodies with multiple infected, poorly-done tattoos and post the evidence on Facebook. That said, I do have a few weird tattoo submissions that I’d like to share with you this Fright Fest, and up first is Claire’s. (I hesitate to say “are Claire’s,” as her numerous feet tattoos are clearly part of a singular body work of art.)
I wouldn’t exactly describe Claire’s feet collage as “scary” so much as “perplexing.” The best thing ever is Heather’s comment, which is a very literal interpretation of the tattoo, and probably the same interpretation that most people would have. Well, that and, “You’re so obsessed with your son that you had his baby feet tattooed all over your body?! YOKEY-DOKEY.” I’m not saying that I actually care what people get tattooed on their bodies (I don’t, and I’m a fan of tattoos), but there’s definitely something strange about having your son’s footprints permanently etched across the length of your side. Couldn’t Claire have just made some footprint art on a Saturday afternoon with her son, a can of paint, and a canvas? Granted, the canvas wouldn’t travel with Claire wherever she goes, but it would make a pretty good substitute.
Still, who am I kidding? Claire’s smarter than that. She probably already thought about doing the canvas print and was like, “Why would I make some kitschy DIY painting when I could just get a bunch of tattoos? Who am I, Martha Stewart? No. I’m a badass bitch whose mission in life is to declare my love and subordination to my son, so feet tattoos it is!” Frankly, I’m in no position to argue with that logic.
(submitted by Anonymous)