Halloween is just a few days away, so you know what that means: It’s Christmastime! Well, okay, not really, but the second the clock strikes November 1st, retailers are going to unroll their Christmas and Black Friday campaigns faster than you can say “Fright Fest is over.” And in a way, that makes sense. Sometimes Halloween and Christmas aren’t that far apart, conceptually-speaking. Take this birth pool of bloodbaby pool filled with red Jell-O, for instance:
At first glance, this picture is highly suspect. Any regular reader of this blog or person familiar with water birthing (so like, lots of people) would give this picture a double-take and search for a caption that confirms it is not in fact a baby pool serving as a birth pool that’s inexplicably filled with several gallons of post-labor blood. If there wasn’t a caption that said “Jell-O,” “Kool-Aid,” or “colored water” in it, I might not know what to believe.
But thankfully, there is, which says this pool is filled with red gelatin. And yet, it’s not actually filled with gelatin for “Jell-O Shots” as the name implies. No, this gooey, sticky, jiggly pool is a Christmas gift for Kellie’s kids:
The kids asked, and their parents delivered. As you can see, things got a bit messy.
Here’s my question: Did Kellie and her husband have to choose red as their Jell-O pool color of choice? Nothing against pools filled with gelatin, or their decision to fulfill their kid’s wish on Christmas, but seriously, this iteration of yuletide cheer is a little creepy. Couldn’t Kellie have at least acknowledged the irony that it looks like her kid is a flesh-eating zombie, just for the sake of everyone who’s already thinking it?
Mmmmm….tastes like human remains. This kid is living it up on Christmas just like a zombie would, feasting on what appears to be chunks of blood and flesh in an entire POOL filled with blood and flesh. It’s almost like a zombie’s spa fantasy. Reminds me of the time a reader thought a bread loaf was a placenta, except slightly grosser due to photos like this:
Ugh. There’s something about this picture that doesn’t sit right with me, and for that reason, I’m giving Kellie half a Gold Star. It’s Halloween so it’s time to get spooky, and this picture absolutely does the trick. The only thing that’s kinda weird is that it looks like Kellie’s kid is in a haunted house in October instead of in her garage on Christmas Day. Or maybe that’s just me? What can I say, I have a wild imagination, and my inbox is often filled with pictures like this:
Does this not look nearly identical to the baby pool filled with Jell-O? It totally does. Other than the cutting board, knife, & coiled, frozen umbilical cord, that is. It’s pretty much the same thing, minus being a temporary organ that isn’t made of sugar, gelatin, and water.
No thanks, Joshua. NO. THANKS. This is why Instagram can be a fearful place.
(submitted by Anonymous)
UPDATE: A few readers have brought the “googly eyes” (??!?!) to my attention, and I just wanted to clarify that I did NOT affix/Photoshop googly eyes on this placenta. Also: HOW DID I MISS THE GOOGLY EYES BEFORE?? WTF is happeniiinngg???
