This week on Mommyish, I wrote about when it’s not cool to post pictures of your crying kids online. After the internet warmly embracedReasons My Son Is Crying last week, I started going through my “Crying Kids” folder to compare those submissions with the concept of the blog. What is it about Reasons My Son Is Crying that seems so funny and relatable, while other pictures of crying kids on Facebook seem so cruel and depressing? The dad who started the blog said that the concept originated on Facebook, and I was trying to imagine if I would feel differently about the pictures if they weren’t compiled on a funny blog.
I’ve received a fair number of awkward crying submissions, and most of the time the submitter says something like, “This seems mean,” or, “I’m sooo glad my parents didn’t do this to me.” Because crying is a vulnerable state for adults, but a natural state for kids, there’s a weird disparity between funny crying pictures and shitty crying pictures. Is the person crying for a stupid reason, or a real reason? Did he lose his sock in the dryer, or did his dog just get hit by a car? These things matter, people.
Here are a few examples of pictures parents shouldn’t post on Facebook (especially now that Reasons My Son Is Crying is a hit; don’t be that asshole who rides coattails by posting sad pictures of your children sobbing, THANKS!!).
1. Trapped In the Closet Underneath the Couch
Whew! I’m glad Dawn managed to locate her son underneath her couch, but um, couldn’t she have gotten him out from under there before grabbing her phone to take a quick picture? This kid doesn’t seem like he’s in the mood to get his photo taken:
I mean, if it were ME, I’d rather my mom just drag me out from under there than capture the moment and post about it online, but who knows what Trevor is thinking? I don’t want to jump to conclusions. Maybe he’s thrilled about it?
2. Mean Mama
Ha ha ha, “mean mama.” What a goof. Just look at the expression on that adorable wittle baby’s face. One day, Mr. Crybaby is going to grow up and appreciate this hysterical picture. Assuming he didn’t topple out of the refrigerator and get a concussion or something. :) Fortunately, it appears as though he had a pretty firm grip on the refrigerator shelf. :P
The next time mean mama’s bored she can just shove him in the freezer to see how he likes it in there! Ha ha, whatever gets people’s attention on Instagram. ;D Not everyone has time to doll up their child in a string bean costume and prop him on the vegetable rack at the grocery store, okay? Some people have to make do with what they have. =^)
3. Teaching Lessons
Awww, how sweet is this? A horrible crazyperson named Traci decided to shave her daughter’s head as punishment and then posted a picture of her crying for the whole world to see. Now THAT’S what I call hands-on parenting. You guys can’t see it, but Traci’s daughter’s eyes are totally filled with tears and regret in this picture, fully expressing with one look what an excellent disciplinarian Traci is and what an utter moron she feels like for trimming her own bangs. Now she has to walk around looking like a cancer patient or one of those shivering hairless dogs! Serves her little punk ass right for not following Mother’s Orders!
Great job, Traci. You not only cut off all of your child’s hair against her wishes, but you also showed off your photography skills by taking such an emotional picture. Talk about “Mom of the Year” material. Operant conditioning like this certainly puts a person in the running for such awards. Fingers crossed!
To check out more examples of Facebook parents who posted pictures of their kids crying just to be heartless bastards, check out my column over on Mommyish!
(submitted by Anonymous)