I haven’t posted a Links Round-Up for a couple of weeks, but I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to post this awesome picture. Many times, I’ve heard from people who say that when they “liked” the STFU, Parents Facebook page they were immediately attacked by rabid mama bears, so this image perfectly sums up that response. I might need it to print a poster version for my childless den of baby-hating debauchery, where my childless friends and I take selfies in bikinis, drink wine coolers until we barf, and call each other “bitches” a lot.
Now, let’s see what’s been shaking around the Internet (and the world!):
- A very intelligent New Zealand woman made headlines after leaving her sleeping baby alone in her car with a note. “It was written from the baby’s perspective [ed. note: OF COURSE IT WAS], and it said, ‘My mum’s in doing the shopping, call her if I need anything’, and it had the cellphone number.” They say ‘it takes a village to raise a child,’ but by ‘village’ they mean ‘parking lot.’ [NZ Herald]
- A massive 15lb, 7oz baby was born in the UK — vaginally — which prompted The Shudder Felt ‘Round the World. [Metro]
- ‘We Already Know Who the Worst Person in NYU’s Class of 2032 Will Be’, so parents, don’t even front. [NY Mag]
- “But when you want your child to eat fruit, consider giving her fruit.” Great concept! Plus, we all know this act can inspire amazing art, too. [Slate]
- More earth-shattering news: A groovy Melbourne crossing guard is still allowed to “touch” the children (i.e. give them high-fives), and a Brisbane school is embracing the “potentially litigious” playgrounds of yore, because parents who sue after little Madjesti trips on an obstacle course tire can shove their lawsuits up their asses. [News.com.au and Courier Mail]
- In case you missed it, the Gray Lady, whose antiquated notions grow grayer by the day, lead an obit about a rocket scientist saying that she made “a mean beef stroganoff, followed her husband from job to job, and took eight years off from work to raise three children.” Oh yeah, and she was also a rocket scientist. (Dissertation defense, anyone?) [Buzzfeed]
- This baby changing station better be for real. [Happy Place]
- As it turns out, modern life steals kids’ childhood. It’s a bummer, but that’s what happens when iPads and padded bras for newborns are on the market. [News.com.au]
- Speaking of iPads, here’s an article about the effects tablets may have on children’s minds and communication skills over time. [NYT]
- “While perusing your Facebook news feed, have you ever wondered why some people’s babies are adorable, while others are butt ugly?” Why yes, yes I have. [Discoblog]
- “I resented the time my children consumed. Like parasites, they took from me and didn’t give back.” Do not try to tell this woman that she’s better off for having had her kids. [Yahoo! AU]
- An Easter egg hunt in Seattle turned in a bloody brawl between moms. The mama bears are all coming out of hibernation! [Gawker]
- A much-talked about article in the Daily Princetonian that has since been pulled was written by a mother who solemnly warns young ladies that they should scoop up smart, amazing guys like her sons now, or risk being alone forever. Preachy! [Slate]
- This story about a mother who allegedly shot another mother after their children got into a minor argument is, as they say, some shit. [HuffPost]
- Domestic Triage Experts are “human time and motion machines” and “domestic management consultants” who “never have a shower without cleaning it at the same time.” Supermoms — now with fancy vocabulary! [Daily Mail]
- There is no greater example of “one person messes this up for the rest of us” than annoying parents-meets-the airline industry. [Telegraph]
- “Facebook has become a repository for information that we may not…know about.” Especially when investigating idiots who don’t pay child support. [ABC News]
- This ‘Shouts & Murmurs’ column might be my favorite thing I’ve read in weeks. [New Yorker]
- Modern parenting confuses Frank Bruni and some people got upset about it. [NYT]
- Finally, behold this barf GIF. I mean… wow. That is creamy. [Tosh.0]
As an aside: Thanks a lot to everyone who’s purchased a copy of the book (aka the instant literary classic inspired by this blog). If you enjoyed reading it, please consider leaving a comment on Amazon or Goodreads— and don’t forget to email me for a free signed bookplate and temporary tattoo!
