Whoa, Mary, your kid is a hero. Obviously adults already know that Zombie Jesus has a “thing” against brains that have been compromised by the pleasure center after the ritualistic eating of chocolate bunnies on Easter, but now little kids do, too! Anyone who can’t handle the truth deserves to sit in the corner and think about what a crybaby s/he is, including the principal, who clearly isn’t an effective educator. Mary’s kid for President! Kids are smart.
This is some DIY shit — literally. Cara would rather waste money and inhale paint fumes than pick up her dog’s crap in the backyard, so she’s giving it a little makeover. Pastel poo! And considering Easter backs up (so to speak) to April Fool’s Day this year, spray painting piles of dog shit to look like Easter eggs is actually a genius way to kill two birds with one stone. Is it a chocolate-filled egg, or a light pink piece of excrement? Kids be the judge!
Congrats, Mary and Cara, on your Easter basket o’ Gold Stars. This time, they’re made of marshmallow. Mmmm. Light pink excrement and Marshmallow Gold Stars.
Related: Doggy Style Stamps
(submitted by Anonymous)